Sunday, March 31, 2013

unsettling, backtracking, fuck-up moments

It was Easter Sunday

I f*cked up because I was supposed to visit someone in the hospital but I didn't


I sat around, apologizing to my only child for not having a family


Not waking up early enough to get to the public easter egg hunts in town, hey but she woke up late today as well.   Ten o'clock on a Sunday, who does that?


I just haven't felt the least bit of enthusiasm for these capitalist holidays, as of late.


Instead I sat around dwelling.


Last night I read this article in ELLE magazine about people (women) who got rich off "ideas" they all seemed to have been pretty affluent to begin with though, except for one that had a tiny bit of a believable story, like maybe she stayed the night at a poor persons' house once or lower middle class, maybe she had a friend that wasn't fully middle class.


Here I am unemployed and not that encouraged about life. 


Well, that's all I really want to say.


My mom made a turkey, that a neighbor gave us but then she left to people watch at Walmart because she's mad at me for breathing and having a boyfriend who "sleeps too much"


I swear, I feel like a parody out of mad. I would be a great writer for MAD magazine but I am not male or white. But I can predict what their ideas would come out as.


And this week I have school (like "university" school) because I once thought I had a shot at a teacher job and ended up in a credential program to teach in the state of California (someday if it even happens now). But my kid doesn't have school so our week will be quite interesting.  I plan on taking her to the library. That will be the highlight of spring break.



Deborah Leon Godinez Copyright ©2013




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